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Boom!
 Yesterday afternoon Christopher bestowed upon me his interpretation of The Worst Tantrum Ever.
(I'm hoping) It was a one-time performance, so I've documented it here for those of you who missed the show.
It had been building - the days at Kindergarten are long and he's not used to getting up so early - with each afternoon a little crabbier than the last. So, I wasn't all that surprised when he finally blew his top yesterday.
Transcript below:
Christopher: I want a snack.
Shelley: What would you like?
C: I want a SNACK!
S: OK, honey, let' see what we have.... (soothingly, sensing major fatigue)
....cereal with milk? Oh wait, I'm sorry, we're out of milk.
C: What? Why did you throw away the MILK?
S: No, you guys finished it off. I'm sorry. would you like some crackers?
C: I want CEREAL! You shouldn't have told me cereal if we didn't have milk. You shouldn't have SAID IT.
S: Well, honey, I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Everyone does. Would you like some cheese?
C: NO! I want a SNACK!
S: Ok. I understand you're mad but you can't yell at me. I'm going to have to turn off the TV if you yell at me again.
C: I WANT a SNACK and you WON'T! GIVE! IT! TO! ME! (kicking ottoman for (unnecessary) emphasis)
S: Ok, hon. Time to turn off the tv for a bit.
C: NO NO NO NO I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY NO NO! DON'T DO IT OR I'LL FIGHT YOU TO THE GROUND!
(shocked pause, then 'click' as the tv goes off, then more shocked silence.)
C: (throws blanket at Shelley and swipes at her)
S: Ok. You need to go to your room for a little while until you're ready to be nice. RIGHT. NOW.
C: NO NO NO I'M NOT GOING (while walking upstairs towards his room) I'M NOT GOING UP THERE AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME (at the top of the stairs walking down the hall) I'M NOT STAYING IN HERE (laying on bed whimpering) !
If I sounded a bit too nice, it's because I could tell that he was absolutely out of control. I actually was almost laughing (inside) at one point, and I really felt badly for him.
After about 10 minutes of alternate whimpering and yelling from his room, he settled down and I let him come down so we could talk about it.
He agreed that he wasn't making the right choices.
The funniest part was when I asked him why he had tried to hit me and he replied that he wasn't trying to hit me; he was just trying to throw the blanket "really hard so you would run away and I could turn the tv back on."
Nice.
Oh, well. We escaped the "terrible" twos unscathed and have had it really easy so far with this kid. The benefit of having his major tantrum at age almost6 instead of 2 is that it's much more verbally interesting for me.
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Pacino in the godfather?
Oh my gosh! I was totally laughing while reading this!