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A Christmas Tradition of sorts
2003:
2004:
2005:
2006:
2007:
All 5 years:
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Our Festivus
...can be summed up by this one picture. I like to call it Grandpa's Feat of Strength:
The airing of grievances occurred immediately after this picture was taken - once Christopher became certain his loose tooth wasn't really going to be yanked out.
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Happy Festivus!
 Let the feats of strength and the airing of grievances begin!
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Tux Envy
 Yesterday, Christopher's class went to the Zach Scott theatre to see a great little play called Holiday Heroes.
We were asked to dress our kids in appropriate "dress for the theatre" attire, so this is what Christopher was wearing.
When I picked him up after school, I asked him about the field trip and got asomewhat confusing description of one scene from the play. He was really enthusiastic about it, and couldn't stop laughing when he was describing it, so although I couldn't follow the storyline I sensed that he'd had a great time. (I'm perceptive like that.)
Then I asked him if his other friends were dressed as nicely as he was. Christopher said that he only remembered one kid's outfit, and that it looked WAY better than his because it had a tie.
I have to say that I was a bit surprised he'd noticed another kid's clothes and that he would make a comparison to his own. I had no idea that he cared about style.
I apologized for not giving him a tie. He then mentioned that Billy (not his real name) also had a coat thingy.
Huh. Some kid wore a suit to the field trip?
I was intrigued, so I started asking more questions despite knowing that right after school is the worst time to interrogate him. He quickly grew frustrated and said:
"I don't know what kind of tie it was! It was just a picture of a tie!"
My hysterical laughter at this point made him even madder, and his yelling "STOP LAUGHING" only made me laugh harder, which made him madder...
As I bet you can guess, I'm pretty sure Billy was wearing this.
Ok, I LOVE the fact that Billy wore a tuxedo t-shirt to the theatre. Seriously, I do. I think it's a little bit cute and funny. But mostly I love that Christopher coveted it. It set our little world back into balance to know that, rather than suddenly transforming into a stylista, our six year-old boy has a six year-old world view: a t-shirt beats a button-down any day of the week.
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Apologies
If you're a long-distance friend or family member and haven't received a holiday card from us (yet), it's only because they've been sitting on my kitchen table while I try to scrape together some time to write our yearly holiday letter.
It's not going to happen. I'm sorry! But your cards will be going out today.
Of course, if you're one of the few reading this blog, you don't need to be updated on our year anyway.
Happy holidays!
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From Alpha to Google
Today Christopher heard his friend ask me to Google something. I saw him mouth the word to himself, appearing to file it away for future reference.
Well, it didn't take long for him to attempt to use the word in a sentence. I think he's operating under one of two principals (time will tell):
1. When you don't know what something means, make it up and you'll sound smart.
2. When you want to make your mom laugh, insist that something nonsensical is true.
Here's what he told me:
C: (with smile in voice) "Mom, do you know what the last letter in the alphabet is?"
Me: "What is it, honey?"
C: "It's Google."
Me: "Huh. I had no idea!"
C: "Yeah and you know what sound it makes?"
Me: (I can only guess) "What sound does it make?"
C: "pbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbp"
FYI: pbpbpbpbpbpbpbbpbpbpbpb is how you (I) write the sound for raspberries.
Then he went through each letter of the alphabet, telling me the sound it makes, triumphantly spitting on me from the back seat of the car when he got to Google.
Strange Botwin, that's for sure.
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7
 Last night we went on the Polar Express to Bertram and back the North Pole!
It was a family affair, and all the kiddos wore pajamas.In true Christopher style, he wanted to wear big-boy pajama pants. He then lamented that a regular t-shirt didn't count as pajamas, so he had to pick out a jammy top to wear with the big boy jammy bottoms (results below). This sort of sums up Christopher's current phase of life: the big boy and the little boy exist together in one quickly growing body, with bittersweet, humorous and sometime frustrating results - for all of us.
The train involved storytellers (high school girls volunteering their time) reading the Polar Express book:
Check out how enthralled Christopher is:
We also received hot chocolate and gingerbread cookies. Shockingly, these were received very well by all involved. Here's a picture of two happy traingoers:
And a funny one of Grandma & Grandpa, taken by Christopher at just the right moment:
Santa was sweet enough to make a visit to the train and hand out candy canes to all the kids on the nice list:
And he also took the time to let the paparazzi document his existence:
All in all, a pretty good night!
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6
Fleece Navidad!
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Daily Outrage
I've been in a generally outraged mood today, but this particular story provoked me enough that I had to put it here.
A school district in Seminole County, Florida recently decided to take on a sponsor to defray the costs of printing report cards. Now, I guess it's ok to accept sponsors to buy, say, gym equipment, books or other things that promote academic and physical education. But this is ridiculous:
full-size pic here, and story here.
How any school district could do this with a clear conscience is beyond me!
I don't blame Mcdonald's in this scenario. Last time I checked, advertising was a voluntary, mutual agreement. Granted, it's pretty jerky that McDonald's did this after their recent promise not to target products in elementary school, but ultimately they're not responsible for the nutritional health of our children.
The school district is the real stinker here. There's no way to opt out of a report card (o how my high school years would have been different if one could), so every student is subjected to this messaging. Its existence on an official school document suggests implicit approval of the company and its products by the school district. Never mind the healthy eating programs at school; this is what the kids are going to remember!
The really pathetic thing is that the school district received only one complaint (they claim) from parents. Amazing.
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Mouse Rug, Anyone?
If you're a last-minute shopper like me, don't worry! I have the perfect gift idea for your loved ones:
 The Mouse Rug!
From the maker:
"MouseRugs combine stunning woven art image designs from all over the world with the luxurious feel of Lextra fibers. Far more than a mouse pad, this functional art also makes an executive gift that will be used and appreciated for many years."
Seriously, who wouldn't want a mouse rug? Buy one for your boss! Everyone will be amazed at how stylish her office is! After all, it's made from Lextra (for that soft, velvet touch!)!
The Mouse Rug can be bought here!
No?
No.
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5
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4
(Not a creature was stirring)
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Success!
 After a harrowing week that involved tears and screaming, Christopher has learned to tie his shoes, apparently against his will.
Yes, tears and screaming. No idea.
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Dear Merchants,
 I realize that, since you begin setting out your holiday wares in mid-August, technically we're entering the last phase of the Christmas gift shopping window.
And, I get it that the last week before Christmas is probably a bit hectic for you, and that you'd like to encourage people to shop sooner rather than later (or preferably, sooner and later).
However, I would appreciate not receiving emails such as the one pictured here (or the one that said, "It's not too late!!!") on December 3.
If your email had been non-holiday-specific, I might've given you the benefit of the doubt and assumed you meant that I was procrastinating about Chanukah gifts. After all, Chanukah begins tomorrow evening. But nope, you clearly say "last-minute Christmas gifts".
I don't mind a "Hey! We're having a sale!" notification or a message that highlights new or seasonally relevant products, but I resent being admonished that, three point five weeks before Christmas, I'm being "last-minute" (read: thoughtless? irresponsible?) about the process.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I'm sure you're busy, probably crafting apocalyptic Valentine's Day messages.
Sincerely,
The Grinch
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3
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2
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1
(The Ghost of Christmas "Present")
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